Saturday, August 05, 2006

Let's Explore My Face - A Picture Special!

I can't believe my countdown. It's been over a fortnight since I got my feet back on English soil but it's gone by so quickly. As soon as I was back I had to get my music together for John and Mel's wedding, at which my alter ego The Fresh Brian Dash played a set of pure cheese. Then I headed straight off for a week in the Lake District, drumming with Chris and Jen at the Keswick Convention, which was a brilliant way to spend a week. Drumming, laughing, walking, swimming, playing Deal Or No Deal and meticulously planning the next morning's breakfast strategy.

But the Good Ship Full English has sailed - now is the time to face some tough questions about myself. Where do I belong? What is the purpose of my life? Who am I?

But I'm not quite ready for them. Maybe if I build up to answering them by taking on an easier question. Like, who do I look like? Yes, I think this is the kind of issue I need to ponder to begin to find my place in this world.

I'll start my quest at the MyHeritage face recognition website. They have the technology to analyse my face and reveal which celebrity I resemble. Unfortunately, I get don't get any high percentage matches and my top three are Hugh Grant (60%), Mel Gibson (59%) and Chevy Chase (58%). It concerns me that each of these men has had a run-in with the law.

But the Internet is far from the most reliable source of information, so let's have a look at a more human perspective. A great man once said, Who do the people say that I am? So, to follow in His footsteps (somewhat), I'm going to ask, Who do people say that I look like?

Thinking about this, I recall the words of the young Shakes Carcaterra in Sleepers: I look like a lot of people. During the Adventures of Young Dan, I was told I looked like Elliot, E.T.'s little friend. With bleached hair in Canada, I was allegedly (underlined) a blond Hugh Grant. I've been physically likened to Simon Amstell from PopWorld, the T-1000 Terminator and that odd boy with the video camera in American Beauty. It should be made clear at this point that sometimes I fail to see the resemblance. But as I say, I look like a lot of people, to some crazy eyes at least.

However, the most useful lookalike claims are going to be the ones made most recently, obviously. So here are the four most recent comments, including two made this week, that are pretty much responsible for this entire pointless post. In Norway, as I read Bob Dylan's excellent Chronicles, Anne Britt and Rune decided that it could have been me on the front cover.

According to Sami Hussain, I also feature on the cover of The Sims 2 - Open for Business, as a cake-scoffing chef.

But never mind that, my brother Sam's girlfriend Emma decided this week that I look like the new Man of Steel in the poster on the left. Brilliant, maybe I'll grow myself a kiss curl.

And lastly, the old favourite, mentioned by more observers than any other in the history of people who I look a bit like - Moses from the Prince of Egypt animated movie. Specifically, just after he's fled from Egypt and lost his wig.

So what does all this mean for me as a person? Actually, that's not a rhetorical question, I've got no idea where this post is going. Maybe we should call it a day there. If you've got any clue as to how to decipher the Dan Facey Code, then let me know. Or else share your own experience of being told you look like someone else. Alright? Great. See you later.